The Daughter and the Wife


By Dr. Jamal Badawi

Woman as a Daughter

1- The Qur’an ended the merciless pre-Islamic observe of feminine infanticide(wa’d):

Parents are duty-bound to help and present kindness and justice to their daughters.

When the feminine (toddler) buried alive is questioned for what crime she was killed…. (At-Takwir 81:8-9)

The Qur’an went additional to rebuke the unwelcoming perspective of some mother and father upon listening to the information of the delivery of a child lady, as an alternative of a child boy:

When information is delivered to considered one of them of (the delivery of) a feminine (youngster), his face darkens and he’s crammed with inward grief! With disgrace he hides himself from his individuals due to the unhealthy information he has had! Shall he retain her on (sufferance and) contempt or bury her within the mud? Ah! What an evil (alternative) they determine on! (An-Nahl 16:58-59)

3- Parents are duty-bound to help and present kindness and justice to their daughters. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stated:

Whosoever has a daughter and doesn’t bury her alive, doesn’t insult her, and doesn’t favor his son over her, Allah will enter him into paradise. (Ahmad)

Whosoever helps two daughters till they mature, he and I’ll come on the day of judgment as this (and he pointed along with his two fingers held collectively). (Ahmad)

4- A vital side within the upbringing of daughters that vastly influences their future is schooling. Education is just not solely a proper however a duty for all women and men.

Prophet Muhammad stated, “Seeking knowledge is mandatory for every Muslim”. (Al-Bayhaqi and Ibn-Majah)

(The phrase “Muslim” right here is inclusive of each women and men.)

As a Wife

1- Marriage in Islam relies on mutual peace, love and compassion, and never the mere satisfying of human sexual need.

And amongst His Signs is that this, that He created for you mates from amongst yourselves that you could be dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in which are indicators for many who replicate. (Ar-Rum 30:21)

(He is) the Creator of the heavens and the earth: He has made for you pairs from amongst yourselves and pairs amongst cattle: by this implies does He multiply you: there may be nothing no matter like unto Him and He is the One that hears and sees (all issues). (Ash-Shura 42:11)

Marriage and Divorce

2- The feminine has the precise to simply accept or reject marriage proposals.

Her consent is a prerequisite to the validity of the martial contract, in response to the Prophets’ instructing. It follows that if an “arranged marriage” means the marrying of a feminine with out her consent, then such a wedding could also be annulled if the feminine so needs:

Ibn `Abbas reported {that a} lady got here to the Messenger of Allah, and he or she reported that her father had compelled her to marry with out her consent. The Messenger of God gave her the selection… (between accepting the wedding or invalidating it. (Ahmad)

Another model of the report states that the lady stated: “Actually, I accept this marriage, but I wanted to let women know that parents have no right to force a husband on them.” (Ibn-Majah)

3- The husband is chargeable for the upkeep, safety, and total management (qiwamah) of the household, inside the framework of session and kindness. The mutuality and complementarity of husband and spouse doesn’t imply “subservience” by both occasion to the opposite. Prophet Muhammad helped with family chores though the tasks he bore and the problems he confronted in his neighborhood had been immense.

The moms shall give suck to their offspring for 2 complete years, if the daddy wishes to finish the time period. But he shall bear the price of their meals and clothes on equitable phrases. No soul shall have a burden laid on it higher than it will possibly bear.  No mom shall be handled unfairly on account of her youngster, nor father on account of his youngster. A inheritor shall be chargeable in the identical method. If they each determine on weaning by mutual consent, and after due session, there isn’t any blame on them. If you determine on a foster-mother on your offspring, there isn’t any blame on you, supplied you pay (the mom) what you provided on equitable phrases. But worry Allah and know that Allah sees properly what you do. (Al-Baqarah 2:233)

Prophet Muhammad instructed Muslims concerning girls,

“I commend you to be kind to women.” (Al-Bukhari) He stated additionally, “The best of you is the best to his family (wife).” (An-Nawawi in his e-book Riyad As-Saliheen)

The Qur’an urges husbands to be form and thoughtful to their wives, even when a spouse falls out of favor along with her husband or disinclination for her arises inside him. It additionally outlawed the pre-Islamic Arabian observe whereby the stepson of the deceased father was allowed to take possession of his father’s widow(s) (inherit them) as in the event that they had been a part of the property of the deceased:

O you who consider! You are forbidden to inherit girls in opposition to their will. Nor must you deal with them with harshness, that you could be take away a part of the marital present you have got given them, besides after they have been responsible of open lewdness; quite the opposite, dwell with them on a footing of kindness and fairness. If you’re taking a dislike to them, it could be that you just dislike a factor via which Allah brings about quite a lot of good. (An-Nisaa’ 4:19)

4- Should marital disputes come up, the Qur’an encourages {couples} to resolve them privately in a spirit of equity and probity. Under no circumstances does the Qur’an encourage, enable, or condone household violence or bodily abuse.

In excessive instances, and each time higher hurt, resembling divorce, is a possible possibility, it permits for a husband to manage a delicate pat to his spouse that causes no bodily hurt to the physique nor leaves any form of mark. It could serve, in some instances, to deliver to the spouse’s consideration to the seriousness of her continued unreasonable habits  (refraction), and could also be resorted to solely after exhausting different steps mentioned in endnote.

If that delicate measure is just not more likely to stop a wedding from collapsing, as a final measure, it shouldn’t be resorted to. Indeed, the Qur’an outlines an enlightened step and a clever method for the husband and spouse to resolve persistent battle of their martial life: In the occasion that disputes can’t be resolved equitably between husband and spouse, the Qur’an prescribes mediation between the events via household intervention on behalf of each spouses.

5- Divorce is a final resort, permissible however not inspired, for the Qur’an esteems the preservation of religion and the person’s proper – female and male alike – to felicity. Forms of marriage dissolution embrace an enactment primarily based upon mutual settlement, the husband’s initiative, the spouse’s initiative (if a part of her martial contract), the courtroom’s choice on a spouse’s initiative (for a reputable cause) and the spouse’s initiative and not using a “cause” supplied that she returns her marital present to her husband (khul` or divestiture).

6- Priority for the custody of younger youngsters (as much as the age of about seven) is given to the mom. A toddler later could select the mom or father as his or her custodian.

Custody questions are to be settled in a way that balances the pursuits of each mother and father and the well-being of the kid.


The article is an excerpt from the writer’s “Gender Equity in Islam: Basic Principles”.



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